Who cares what people say happened this week? Not me. I'm more interested in what actually happened. So let's look back at the week through the magic of our Horoscopes (it's Science, ok?) to find out what really down at Clearleft HQ over the last five days...

Myself, Anna A and Andy B (Aries) took advantage of Mercury snapping out of retrograde mode to go full-steam-ahead through our tenth houses of ambition. At last! We could finally get our 2016 missions into motion. That hasn’t been easy since the year began.

Mikey and Andy T were weathering a nasty lovers' quarrel and may have discovered sneaky fine print in a business contract, a Zayn Malik move being pulled by someone they THOUGHT was on their team. But The tide is turning for the better as Mercury’s costume change helped them clear the air.

James B and Jess (Virgo) were worried that whilst they've been on the mainstage, their messages may have gotten a little misdirected. But they managed keep it classy and sophisticated and played up the visuals to keep things light and breezy.

Clare (Libra) began the "let's start fresh" process this week — or at least the peace talks and enjoyed playing host once again, although sticking to a hand-selected guest list instead of an open-door policy.

Kate, Anna C and Tessa (Gemini) were lucky that their razor sharp intuition was be restored, along with their clarity about how to proceed in certain partnerships, and allowed themselves time to deal and heal.

Charlotte (Aquarius) learned that giving ’til it hurts was actually painful (#heavingsobs) and the word “boundaries!” has been circling through her brain on auto-repeat. But how high to set them?

Graham and Jon (Scorpio) were pleased that some crossed wires were beginning to untangle. And that they could begin to speak freely again, trusting that their helpful hints wouldn't feel like slings or stings — quite the contrary!

And finally Ellen and Ben S (Sagittarius) were FINALLY be able to map out a sensible game plan—and budget—and stick to it. And they did so without tightening their belts so much that they cut off circulation to their reward centers!

Oh and Jeremy.... well he doesn't believe in horoscopes. What a sucker!

That's all for this week. More Science available at the Elle horoscopes site.